~~ The Origins and Legacy of Maid Appleton ~~

 

Most people know the day they were born but have no idea as to the day they will die. Maybe if they did it would change their outlook on life.

The majority of apples grow up with the idea given to them by apples before them that the course of life is to make something of yourself or to have someone else make something of you. This could include apple juice, apple pie, applesauce, apple dumpling, or some other concoction that would serve a higher purpose.

Unfortunately, some in the apple family don’t care where their course of life takes them. They are known as “bad apples”. Instead of looking to a higher purpose they oftentimes end up rotting on the ground or are used in food fights or fed to pigs.

 

But not Maid Appleton. Oh no! She was different. Being a precocious apple she wanted to learn things. She had seen both good and bad apples. She loved her father but wondered why one day he decided to leave the family and the tree. He always had lofty ideas about “making it in the Big Apple” and one day he fell out of the tree and perished at the trunk by the scorching sun. On the other hand she was extremely proud (and of course a little sad) to see both her mother and grandmother be used in an apple pie at a banquet for someone of importance.

Maid Appleton always wondered what her fate would be. Soon thereafter she found out. One night in the summer of 1999, she was snatched from the tree and rendered unconscious with a bunch of other apples. When she came to, she was in a weird place and noticed a mark on her. To the other apples around her it was fine, but to Maid Appleton it was very much a death sentence. It read “Expiration Date: 12/15/00.” That’s right, like so many before her she had been “processed” and was now an apple juice box. Some of her close friends like Washington Applebee and Angelica Applegate seemed fine with the idea of being consumed by a child by a certain date, at best, and knew that they could possibly be thrown away if not used. But, both Washington and Angelica reasoned, at least they weren’t being fed to pigs or used as target practice.

This infuriated Maid Appleton. She couldn’t believe they had blindly accepted their fate. There was no way that Maid Appleton would accept their fate as hers, that of being consumed by a certain stamped-on expiration date. Those who for whatever reason weren’t consumed by that date probably faced a more harsh fate: a garbage can.

But not Maid Appleton. Heavens no! She was different. It’s hard to say when or where but it’s obvious her upbringing had an effect on her and that truly an apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. From her father, she inherited the “pioneer spirit” and wanted to see the world that she heard so many kids talk about when she listened on the branch. From her mother, she learned about making an impact and that one apple can make a difference.

So when her expiration date came on 12/15/00, not only had Maid Appleton not been consumed, which would have been a great dishonor to most apples, but she didn’t die. She evaded being thrown away. She’s not sure why but two human outsiders decided to help her out.

After being left out on a desk in an office cubicle and fearing her very life from the cleaning lady, Maid Appleton was securely placed in the inter-office black mailbox. From there she was sent via inter-office mail and then proceeded to go through the office underground to the back of a desk drawer. Things got rough so she hid in a floppy disk box and narrowly missed being terminated. An opportunity came and she hitchhiked on the bumper of a car only to be discovered at the gym later that night. From there she was sent via regular mail and then had to spend a week in a sock drawer (lucky for her the socks were clean). Tired of hiding and running and looking over her shoulder, not to mention having lost her straw along the way, Maid Appleton finally got her break.

Whether by divine nature or a freak accident no one knows, but Maid Appleton was finally liberated and began to see the world as no apple has ever done, or no doubt will ever do. Herein are the stories and pictures of Maid Appleton’s increasing adventures. Many in the apple community say she’s a hero but that was never her goal. Maid Appleton’s goal is that one day all apples will live a full life so that everyone throughout the world, and dare we say universe, will say “how do you like those apples?”

Follow the links to find out more about Maid Appleton’s U.S. Travels or World Travels.